Second thoughts

I wanted to continue from where I had left in my previous post. Infact have composed one too. Is a click away from getting posted. But I refrain.Nope, not that I have changed my opinion or my beliefs and still disrespect the class of junta, but it was a bit too critical and judgemental.

I got to read a few blogs posted by a fellow blogger and mirrored myself too in those statements but even that doesn’t get me to post another blog in that series.Would any day prefer to post healthy views rather than being cynical. However must put up a quote from one of the posts “At a psychological level , I realize that to want anything from the person is selfish and may lead to pain . You talk to this person, and you are not thinking ahead, because you don’t harbor any expectations from the person , and this helps you be in the moment and lends a lot more naturalness and ease to the interaction “

“Mistrust in trust” was pessimistic and hence not in sync with my line of thinking. It ended up being very much unlike me.

I shall get back to studying for my endems and will catch up with blogging a week later

Pay it forward

Weeks back(Pre "Change is constant"), knowing me Bosca Da suggested a movie "Pay it forward". He gave me a review of the same. I wasn't in the right frame of mind to watch such movies so I decided to watch it later.I did catch up with the movie…

As part of a social studies assignment given to the students of 7th grade,they are asked to "Think of an idea to change the world and put it in action". A kid in the class comes up with this plan- consider three people.He helps them in  a big way,something they cannot do on their own and is tough for him too.But he has to. Now instead of reaping the benefits himself viz asking them to pay him back he asks them to pay it forward. They in turn have to help three people…and the chain continues.If you draw a tree the number of nodes at any depth would be powers of three and it grows fast(exponentially).

I am impressed by this concept. In reality too it works and works wonders. And yeah the satisfaction one gets(by following one's heart)cannot be matched..

I do not expect an utopian world, somewhere in the chain there shall be transition/ transmission losses but nevertheless the goodness that would spread around would be cherished by all.In the present world, where every second person is self centred I suggest simple good deeds which does not call for some huge sacrifice or even compromise on part of the individual viz. just a "Thanks" could at times do wonders. People should realize that despite one getting due wages for one's job they are nor mere workers and that they too need to be respected.Consider bus drivers/conductors, vegetable vendors,maid servents,waiters in the restaurant,shopkeepers and many more; one may argue about them not putting in the desired efforts and blah blah but a smile, showing them respect can at times work well on their performance and at their behaviour towards those whom they happen to interact with.You just need to exercise a few muscles with least effort and the output could be very desirous.

Also, what is that can convince people to exercise discipline when in public…viz disposal of garbage at the places where it is supposed to be and the likes.

But it disturbs me when I observe and realize that more often than not one needs to pay a heavy price for being overtly nice to others and doing them good.This part of the movie where they touch reality is what touches and surprises me most. I did have a word with Bosca da and both agreed to this harsh fact. We had experienced the same. I fail to explain this logic or may I refer this as nature's law.Why does one with good intentions and good deeds have to suffer? I don't expect miracles in his life but atleast not something worse. A so called  logical reason explained to me is that everything in life is random. The randomness of the universe(like entropy)increases. So you can't reallly expect things to not go bad. It could actually happen to anyone.

Here again, if this discussion happens in person I can ramble on for hours, bugging people to the core. This post has been spontanoeus…hence a bit unclear. I prefer it this way, don't expect much from the blog…but nevertheless I still believe in it.

Years down the line,when I shall get back to reading this, I know I shall feel good about myself.

P.S : There exists three possiblities when it comes to expectations: To be paid back, no personal loss and the third is to pay it forward. I belive in the satisfaction of the last two alternatives. Its the "feel good" factor.In the next post I shall write about why I don't trust people who opt for the first alternative…at times I curse the fact that Man is a social animal.

Silicon Jungle

Silicon Jungle is the directorial debut of Rabi Kisku- Class of 2005, IIT Madras. It attempts to focus on the life of an IITian. The Senate hall of IITG was the venue for the first public screening of this movie.Its a good movie but could have been better. What follows is technically not the review.

I wanted to write on this since quite sometime, guess watching Silicon Jungle got me started. A dialogue whose depth only an IITian can visualize:"Life in IIT is not what it is percieved to be."

Ever analysed the decisions one makes in one's life. I have realized that often the motivation behind is not rooted in the individual himself. One succumbs to the dreams of the family, of the peers, of the society and a few more.You don't live your own dream. You run after someone else's goals. Give a thought to it. I firmly believe that every soul has a unique strength. The need is to experiment, to explore and discover that spark. One then needs to ignite the flame. That is sucess, to pursue what one is good at. No matter what the resistance I can assure you immense satisfaction. This satisfaction might not include material happiness(Something that Master Card can help you purchase). But that is what one is here for…Many equate success in life to the institute one gets admitted to,the job that one secures(in terms of sal and perks), your social status(again the scale is material possessions viz. home,car etc.), your spouse, the success of your family and blah blah..Somewhere in these criterion what gets misplaced is the individual himself and his true self. Almost all of us at some point of time have acted differently just to get a pat on the back. Seldom do we be goofy.

However if you look around and carefully observe the people whom we truly respect, one would find that they are beads on a common thread. They followed their heart. A friend of mine once opened up accepting that he feared being lost in the crowd after graduating from IIT. I have heard so many say that they have fulfilled their parents' dream by getting into IIT. A good number question themselves why did they seek admission into the crap called engineering college.How many of us considered only two options viz.engineering and medicine. Remember DJ blabbering in RDB to behan di takki kaun kise kahan nachata hai aur kab. There are a few who manage to stand out but the driving force behind them too is the society they live in and their family. I do respect such people for they handle the burden well and I admire them for their discipline but would have idolized them had they to follow their heart. One may argue the basis of this arguement, all I can say is that I have observed and studied them well. A friend of mine explained to me the concept of TamBrams. She herself was a similar product and when I look around I can mirror other friends too(quite a few). And there are good number of such classes.

Many realize this but still succumb to the pressure..the routine and the fear gets to them.

Silicon jungle hits the right tone but doesn't conclude well.We are left asking for more. Kisku fails to do justice to the central concept. The climax could have been more encouraging. Nevertheless I hope it gets people thinking.

Rabi plans to release the movie in Chennai followed by Hyderabad, Bangalore and a few more cities.Its a movie worth watching. I would suggest that even if it gets screened in a multiplex and you are forced to shell out 100+ bucks, go ahead. It might just get you started.

It felt good watching the movie for another reason;it brought back the memories of Inter IIT '04.We were put up in Narmada Hostel, the hostel where the protagonists of the movie spend their 4 yrs. The shots of the soccer field in the background and the roads where from absolutely nowhere a deer or stag could make its presence felt(It scared the shit out of me once)..

Its a very good effort on his part,considering the constraints and limited finances and I wish him luck and success in his endeavors.He has chosen a career which I guess has been as yet unexplored by an IITian.

Masti Ki Paathshala

Yesterday was fun. I completed another “Grand Slam”- We had four working days this week and I dunked all classes except the Economics quiz- I reached the lab at the scheduled time.The TA had planed a visit to Shillong and had to leave at 3.00PM.With students as sincere as us, he had little trouble.I convinced Sudhanshu to accompany me to the Hospital. We had fun there too as the Doc on duty was Leena Barua…thereafter we went and sat by the lakeside. The migratory birds were having a nice time in the water and despite efforts from us to disturb them and make them all take off together(its a splendid sight) they couldn’t be less concerned. Now starts the real fun…”Paap”.

Sudhanshu turns around. At around a distance of 150 metres he spots two familiar faces coming towards us.I join him and confirm, its X and you can guess who.Within a second we lie down (in an attempt to hide) and start planing our reaction as they near the lakeside.After a minute or so as we turn around to check their cordinates , they seem to have vanished. Within a flash we realize that they were actually heading to the hilltop.Hmm…dirty minds at play. It didn’t take us time to get our bags and head towards you know where.We reach the Diro’s bungalow and spot them metres ahead. Realize that the fun would be lost if we reach after them(Reason: It shouldn’t look that we followed them instead we were at the hilltop and they happened to bump into us,that million dollar expression!); simple we take the short cut.We start trekking and within a couple of minutes we are at the paradise.The weather is amazing. Cool breeze blowing, the skies are partly cloudy, the Brahmaputra looks as always seducing, the greenary at 360 degress was enchanting, the mountain range with their peaks covered by clouds, any couple would love to spend time there. However we were there to play spoilsport ;P. We patiently wait for them to arrive.I pull up my dairy and start composing a blog and Sudhanshu takes off with his flash cards,hard working students that we are, we value every instant of time. The moment arrives and we greet and welcome our dearest friend X and you know who.For the first time he introduces us to her. We stay put for the next 30 mins or so…If u ask X he will say eternity but trust me we bugged them for just a little more than half an hour. She was getting bored and X was cursing us but we two were merry.Poor gal, she had to bear with us. I don’t feel sorry for X, had we, we wouldn’t have gone there at the first place. There were moments of silence when no one spoke loud enough for the other person to hear but we all can guess as what one would have heard had we to place a microphone near one’s heart. From double line railway tracks to Laloo Prasad Yadav to the postion of the setting sun to group dynamics to a potential BTP (all three of us are in the same group for our BTP) to the Buddha monastery which is 15 mins drive from the hostel to the absolute fart jokes there was hardly a more bugging subject we had left untouched. Every second there was a Kodak moment. Ohh…I forgot to mention, our dear X shall not get to meet you know who for the next 9 days as he shall be out of campus Im sure this fact adds spice to all that we did…

I would now like to ask X “English mein yaa Hindi mein?” As I read it “mere liye hindi mein I guess tere liye English mein” Wat say ya X(This is one of the many PJs that we cracked there).

Change is constant- Part II

This wasn't  thought of before. It struck me and am now posting it…since the crux of this blog too is "change" I opted for this title.(Well its not on a serious note, no fundas and crap!!!)

To be more specific it deals with change in priorities as put in words by my friend X…(I will
be tortured/massacred with his PJs if I reveal his identity).Months back X and myself went for a long walk post dinner. We continued our discussion when back in his room till three in the morning. We touched varied subjects, fellow friends,mindgames, eccentricity, relationships, psychology etc. Before I proceed I need to mention that X is addicted to post dinner walks. He used to persuade people into giving him company. A week back
I was dragged out of my room to accompany him on a short walk at 00.30 hrs.At times he used to tread alone coz  people were firm and not because he fails to find better company like me. He then used to get started with his "khattas" (IITG lingo for
PJs).  Many in the lobby mind going on a walk with him.

So as we rambled on that night, among the many things that we discussed and agreed upon, X said that he sees himself changing if he gets involved in a relationship.(Note: He is not gay.) In other words, not only will his priorities change but so will the weirdness and the randomness in his day to day activities. Presently he is seeing some female. And a few of my friends and me have observed the change he was refering to. He himself agrees too. The same guy who at times has bugged us to such an extent that we were compelled to go on walks with him now finds better company. On one occasion I was "dumped" in the middle of the stretch, this given that both of us were supposed to reach back to the hostel in 20 mins. The moment we reached in the delta vicinity of the girls' hostel
his plans changed. I was made to wait till his better company arrived and then I made my way back to the hostel ALONE. The next day, the weather being amazing I plan to tread alone to my favorite spot, the lakeside. I am leaving the lobby, I find X. We start walking. The moment we exit the hostel, he confirms that he shall part company soon. Justification, since I was anyways planing to go all by myself, he infact gave me company till the girls' hostel .So nice of him, indeed.

Priorities change…though the number of post dinner walks increase you are not troubled any more.Infact, now there exists the possbility that one might have to return alone.

Note: The process of some bakra getting dumped is periodic…Often its me, another addict to post dinner walks!